Rules Of Etiquette At The Table

Each of us at least sometimes visits a restaurant, goes out for pizza with friends, or spends time in cozy cafes with a cup of aromatic coffee and a delicious cake. Men like to watch football over a beer, and girls like to talk over a glass of wine. We are invited to come as a guest - for a birthday, anniversary, christening or some other event. How should you behave in order to make a good impression and not get into an awkward situation? In this article, we will talk about the basic rules of etiquette , how to always feel confident in any of the above situations. Note that the rules of etiquette for children are almost no different from the rules of etiquette for adults, so if necessary, read this article to your children.

Rules of etiquette at the table

• If you have come to visit, do not rush to sit down at the table right away. Wait for the hostess to invite you, you may be offered a pre-determined seat. If this does not happen, you can delicately specify where it is better for you to sit.

• There is no need to greet each present guest, you can limit yourself to a general greeting, not forgetting to greet the host and hostess separately.

• It is undesirable to sit too close or too far from the table. It will be inconvenient for you to take dishes and eat.

• At the table, you should sit straight and lean slightly on the back of the chair. Under no circumstances should you rock on a chair. In addition to the fact that it has an unaesthetic appearance, you can break the furniture and even fall.

• Since childhood, everyone knows that putting your elbows on the table is uncivilized. It is better to put your hands on your knees, according to the rules of etiquette  , only the hands can be on the table.

• You should also not gesture too actively, because you can accidentally touch a neighbor, spill wine on the tablecloth or break a plate. In order not to annoy others, do not tap your fingers on the table, do not play with cutlery or glasses.

• Don't reach for the desired dish, salt shaker or sauce across the table. You risk soiling your clothes or spilling the contents of your plate or glass onto the tablecloth. Better ask a neighbor or a waiter to serve you what you need.

• Don't talk with your mouth full. Even if the interviewer's question caught you by surprise, chew your food until the end and then continue the conversation. It won't be disrespectful, unlike trying to respond with a stuffed mouth.

• To avoid soiling your clothes, you can put a folded napkin on your lap. After eating, it is placed on the table in an unfolded form to the right of the plate. Do not wipe your face with a napkin, just wet your lips.

How to behave and communicate politely

• In a restaurant or when visiting, behave naturally and casually, but not vulgarly. You should not draw attention to yourself by talking too loudly or laughing too loudly. There is no need to go to the other extreme and sit quietly, like a mouse, not participating in the general conversation.

• When talking to a neighbor at the table, try not to turn your back to the other neighbor. It is not customary to shout across the table, even if you really want to talk to an old friend or former classmate. You can chat later when everyone has left the table.

• Do not put food on your neighbor's plate without his/her permission. Do not force someone to eat "at least a small piece", even if, in your opinion, it is the most delicious snack you have ever tasted.

• Do not force someone to drink alcohol, motivating with the notorious "you don't respect me", "you don't support the company". If a person does not want to drink another shot of vodka or a glass of wine, that is his personal business. If you yourself do not want to drink more, just politely refuse, you should not cover the glass with your hand or a napkin. You are also not obliged to explain the reason for refusal. 

• The table is a place exclusively for dishes, not extraneous things. Do not put your mobile phone next to the plate on the table, and do not be distracted by messages during dinner and conversation. And if there is no specially designated place for your handbag, it is best to put it on the chair behind you.

How to make toasts

Many celebrations, especially weddings, birthdays and anniversaries, cannot be complete without toasts and wishes from guests. To make your toast a success, follow a few simple rules .

• Be concise. Don't overdo the toast, tell long stories from the past. Guests will simply get bored and look forward to when you finally let them tip the glass and continue the celebration.

• Speak clearly, emotionally, looking into the eyes of the "culprits of the celebration." Smile, be witty and friendly. Avoid expressions that can hurt someone's pride, mocking and indelicate phrases.

• If you are confident enough, you can tell an interesting story, a fresh anecdote, use an apt aphorism. It is not necessary to retell long-known banal toasts, jokes and poems. It is better to sincerely congratulate the birthday boy in your own words.

• If eloquence fails you, or you are worried - limit yourself to a few simple and positive wishes, or, if possible, prepare a toast in advance. 

• When someone else has asked for attention and is making a toast, put down the utensils and stop eating, do not try to chew something inconspicuously - this is a sign of disrespect and a direct violation  of the rules of etiquette .

How to properly take food and taste dishes

• Remember that you cannot collect food from a common plate with your own spoon or fork, use the device that is intended for this.

• When eating the first dishes, you need to collect enough liquid in the spoon so that it does not spill during the meal. It is not necessary to blow into a plate or on a spoon, it is better to wait a little while the dish cools down.

• Etiquette allows you to eat bread and poultry with your hands.

• Bread is placed on a plate and small pieces are broken off from it, it is not customary to hold a whole piece in your hand.Also, you should not collect the remains of the sauce or the first course with a piece of bread.

• Meat dishes are eaten with a knife and fork, cutting off small pieces. The fork is held in the left hand, and the knife in the right.

• It is not customary to cut fish with a knife, you can only help yourself to separate the bones with it.

• Meatballs, cabbage rolls, dumplings and other similar dishes are eaten with a fork, do not cut them with a knife.

• Salads are also eaten with a fork, you can cut lettuce leaves or large pieces with a knife.

• Salt from the salt shaker should be taken with a special spoon or a clean knife.

• Refined sugar is taken with special tongs, or if they are not available, simply by hand.

What absolutely cannot be done

• Start eating, before the dish is brought to all the guests. The exception is large banquets, then you should wait until the food is served only to those people who are near you.

• Smell the food brought.

• Eating with the mouth open, sipping and smacking loudly.

• Eating with a knife, picking your teeth with a fork, in such cases it is better to use a toothpick.

• Criticize the prepared dishes if you are invited as a guest at home.

• Making remarks about table manners.

• Wipe your hands with a tablecloth.

• Girls and women can brush their hair or fix their makeup at the table. It is better to do this in the restroom of the restaurant or in the bathroom.

• To light a cigarette without asking permission from the neighbors at the table or the hostess of the house.

Most of the above etiquette rules are relevant not only in Ukraine, but all over the world. However, once you get to another country, we advise you to familiarize yourself with the local rules, which will help you avoid awkward situations.   The rules of etiquette should be observed not only in restaurants or when visiting, where many people may pay attention to you. Even when you are at home, next to your loved ones, try to behave culturally, be neat and well-mannered. Always think about whether other people are comfortable around you, whether you do not create inconvenience and what impression you make. Be polite and follow the basic rules of etiquette , then people will be happy to be around you.